Yo La Tengo Fan – Douchebag?

FlavaDave Says: At the Yo La Tengo show at the Vogue, a guy who looked just like character actor Kevin Sussman was not very happy with us.

By the way, it took me forever to Google him because I didn’t remember his name or any movies he had been in, so I’m very proud to present to you:

Kevin Sussman

 

Anyway, this guy was a few standing rows in front of us. For some reason, YLT decided it was a good idea to play one fucking note for four whole minutes. I love indie rock sometimes.

Naturally, you and I get bored and started to chat. We were talking about how the show was going so far and the fact that the Vogue at the moment literally smelled like shit (I think a sewer line broke).

Obviously, the music is kinda quiet and we are kinda loud. Kevin Sussman keeps looking half backwards and nodding in exasperated disapproval. He did this about eight times.

So, was he a douchebag? I say yes.

Flinchbot Says: You think someone is a douchebag? Really? Man that’s out of character. Look, this Kevin Sussman guy was obviously a music geek who buys into the whole Yo La Tengo thing. I bet he’s got an autographed copy of the Trouser Press Record Guide (first edition) autographed by Ira.

And here we were talking about whatever it was when dude was just trying to enjoy the show. I’d have been the same way when Justin Sullivan, one of my musical heroes, played a mostly acoustic set at Radio Radio. I didn’t pay my money to worship at Mr. Sullivan’s alter to hear some dickheads talk all night through the show. If you want to talk, go to the back of the bar or go outside and smoke. But I paid my money and the entertainment is on the stage, not standing behind me.

Sure, we were getting bored (and “Pass the Hatchet, I Think I’m Goodkind” was freaking absurdly long and horrible). Sure we were talking. But ultimately, we were out of line.

FlavaDave Says: Out of character? I may be a nice guy, but I’m still a snot-nosed 22 year old kid. It’s not me man, it’s the language of my generation.

Look, I know the horrors of the talker. I was at a Ben Folds show with a dude screaming about what autographed limited edition vinyl EPs he had in his Ben Folds collection. Dude, it’s Ben Folds. That doesn’t count as being cool.

To me, the level of acceptable talking is dependant on two factors: the room and the quality of the show.

If you are at the Murat, you paid 30+ bucks to see a national band that, chances are, you can’t see very often. That’s a quiet show. Well, usually it is loud as fuck anyway, so conversations are typically drowned out. But the Vogue is a club. It’s not a shut-the-hell-up kind of place. It’s a drink-beers-and-hang-with-friends kind of place. If Yo La Tengo didn’t want to have that kind of show, they should have booked the show elsewhere. Any venue that has $1 You-Call-Its Retro Rewind nights does not foster a quiet, respectful atmosphere.

My other point has been made for me by Steve in the comments below. The band earned the chatter by sucking.

Could we have been classier? Yes. But we are not the ones on trial here. Kevin Sussman is.

Why does Sussman suck?

a) He didn’t realize the context of the show (as explained brilliantly by myself already).

b) He never made eye contact with us.

c) He never said a word to us.

What kind of spineless ass-cat* uses non-confrontational passive aggression at a Yo La Tengo concert? What were we going to do, stab him with our glasses or choke him with a scarf? What’s wrong with simply turning around and saying “Hey guys, sorry to interrupt. I’m having trouble hearing. Would you mind keeping it down until a louder song comes on?”

But he didn’t. He vaguely twisted his head to the side, paused, and then shook his head like we were uncivilized cro-magnons who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as the Gods of Ambience onstage.

I agree with you, we could have been kinder to our fellow sulkers. Fine. But two sinners don’t make a saint. That guy (pardon my french) was a douche.

*Thanks to Rasheed Wallace for one of my favorite putdowns ever.

 

Flinchbot says: Dude, the scarf is the new black t-shirt for the hipster set. Next show we go to, I say we both wear a scarf. sure, it might be 85 degrees outside and we’re heading to Punk Rock Night at the Melody Inn, but dammit, we’re wearing scarves with our torn black t-shirts, shorts, and sandals. Hey Ladies!

BTW – When you type “Scarf Rock” into Google Images, the first hit is from Indianapolis’ own Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s. So that something.

So you admit that you were being a douche. Thank heavens I was talking less for a while which makes me less douchy than you (I know, I eventually jumped in a little later on and was probably responsible for at least one “Sussman Glance”). So I’m less of a douche than you and that’s all that really matters at this point.

The only real problem with the Sussman kid was his complete lack of balls. If we were so damn annoying, just man up and say “Hey – move to the back or go ouside, will ya”? But this dude was all weasely and ball-less. That’s not worhty of him being a douche. Throwing a beer at us would be douche-worthy. Whipping his dick out and telling us to lick his little acorns would be douche-worthy. Pulling his pants down and farting in our general direction would make him douche-worthy. Or French.

So in summation, the Sussman kid was not a douche, just a ball-less indie kid who seriously needs to spend the next 32 weekends attending Punk Rock Night. He’ll come out a whole new man. And that’s what we’re all about here – providing a guiding light to those lost in their own dark mental wastelands.

 

Advertisements

12 Responses to Yo La Tengo Fan – Douchebag?

  1. Steve Speaks The Truth says:

    I got yelled at by the soundman at an Arlo Guthrie show in Bloomington many years ago. I was at a table near the soundboard with two of my friends. We were all dog drunk and chatty. I think we might have yelled for the Pickle Song once or 14 times.

    Anyway, it was a douche move on my part, though one I don’t regret. It’s funnier to say I got yelled at by the soundman at an Arlo Guthrie show than to say I went to one with a bunch of old Bloomington hippies.

    So, when a band plays one note for four minutes, conversation should be allowed. Yes, in this case FlavaDave was the douche, but it was doucheiness he’d earned. Next time, actually call the dude next to you on his cell and have your conversation that way to increase the douche factor fivefold.

  2. Wicky Wicky says:

    This site is great. You two are total dorks. I’ll be sure to add your RSS feed for the “Music”-tagged posts onto the news feed on Sceneseed.com (when I redesign the site – soon)

  3. flinchbot says:

    All hail the sceneseed.com. We are homored to provide free content to help sceneseed dot com grow from but a small seed into a giant raging beanstalk of truth, justice, and the rockin’ way.

    But really, when the site takes off due to our content, we won’t want any compensation. Oh heck no. Get all the value you can out of our hard work. We don’t want any compensation. Nope, not us. We do this for strictly for love.

    But if your cconscience nags at you and you decide to provide compensation, then I would like to have a free schnitzel dinner at the Rathskellar. Daily.

  4. flavadave says:

    IMN already takes care of my “get into concerts free” needs. Other items on the swag list I will accept as payment:

    -Tickets to non-WNBA sporting events
    -CDs by non-shitty non-local bands
    -Cases of Newcastle
    -Yat’s delivered to my house on Thursdays
    -Flights on private jets

    Any of these will do just fine. Failing all that, you can just buy me booze at shows. I was happy with the Jagerbomb-for-flyer-handout deal we worked out at Local’s.

  5. dano says:

    you should be so lucky dick bag. there are lots of sussmans out there and one might be standing next to you next time looking down your soul

  6. Ali Sussman says:

    This is (the real) Kevin Sussman’s wife, Ali. I can assure you that my husband was not at this concert. I do love Yo La Tengo. I was probably at the show. (But actually I wasn’t because I would remember a poopie smell.) In any event, Kevin actually doesn’t like going to concerts. And he is certainly not the type to shush people. But look… you can call whomever you want a douchebag. That’s your prerogative. But maybe – if the guy you even saw was actually an actor – the person you saw was Mike White or Joey Slotnik? Hey, everyone is entitled to an honest mistake.

    Anyhow… maybe I’ll see you at a Yo La Tengo concert? Are they playing in LA any time soon? I promise I won’t shush you.

    Ali Sussman

  7. dan says:

    What a Douchebag the guy can’t even write himself he gets his wife to do it.

  8. Ali Sussman says:

    The douchebaggery is worse than you can even imagine! He is a total douche for marrying me! Because I am the weak twit who went online and found some derogatory sludge written by a myopic, crotchety, NOBODY – and actually became so annoyed by it that I wrote a response behind my husband’s back. What kind of wife DOES that? He’s a total douche for marrying me. I don’t even care that I am making it worse by further engaging some half-wit wanna-be hipster in a BB pissing match over levels of douchbaggery. Why am I doing this?! Because I hate smelly cunts like you. If you were more douche-y, you’d be less stinky. Think about it!

  9. matt says:

    Wow. Well I hope you did this behind his back too, because he’s a really good actor and I don’t think it helps his reptutation when his wife is going on sites calling people smell cunts. Maybe it’s just me, but if I had his career I would’t want it messed with by some angry woman cursing out viewers on his behalf. I was just checking him out on google and found all this…. too much drama. Ali you should be ashamed of yourself. It’s just a joke. They’ll be plenty more. Let him defend himself next time. I just want to watch him on tv. Not all this.

  10. nournours says:

    I have loaded some pictures and videos of Yo la tengo show in Paris, sept. 11 2007.
    They were fantastic !
    My blog is
    http://nournours.wordpress.com/
    My pictures on :
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/11549388@N08/
    My videos on
    http://fr.youtube.com/nournoursword

    Nournours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: