NFL Draft Wager

Flinchbot Says: FlavaDave and I have a wager as to who can guess the most top 10 players in tomorrow’s NFL draft. You get 5 points for the right player going to the right team. You get 3 points for the player being taken in the top 10 by a different team. You get 1 point for guessing the right position that a team drafted even if you missed the correct player.

You get 2 bonus points for correctly guessing a trade but get a minus 1 for missing on a trade. The mere mention of a trade counts as a trade guess. If a predicted trade doesn’t happen, the pick reverts to the original team. However, there will be a -1 penalty applied to each team’s pick for missing on the trade. So if we say Oakland makes a trade with Houston and it doesn’t happen, there is an immediate “-1″ applied to whatever the Houston and Oakland picks are. If you still end up getting the pick right, you still get the full +5 even if the trade didn’t go through. However, +5 for the right player loses a point for missing the trade, so you get +4 for picking the right player if a trade doesn’t go through.

For Example, if I say Oakland drafts Rudy Sklan (TE-Ohio) and we both have him listed as our first round pick, we both get 5 points. If I say Rudy Sklan gets drafted second by Detroit but he really got drafted #1 by Oakland, then I get 3 points because the dude got drafted in the top 10. If I say that Oakland should draft Cody Boyd (TE-Washington) but Oakland drafts Rudy Sklan instead, I get 1 point for getting the position right even though I got the wrong player.

He with the most points wins 1 shot of Jaegermeister at a local watering hole.

Here is my Top 10: (22 point)

Oaktown - Jamarcus Russel (QB) +5

Detroit - Trade to Tampa Bay who selects Calvin Johnson (WR) +4

Cleveland - Joe Thomas (OT) +5

Tampa Bay - Detroit Selects Gaines Adams (DE) +4

Arizona - Levi Brown (OT) +5

Washington - Jamaal Anderson (DE) +0

Minnesota - Brady Quinn (QB) +0

Atlanta - Amobi Okoye (DT) +0

Miami - Probably trades down to someone for Adrian Peterson (RB) -1

Houston - Laron Landry (S) +0

FlavaDave Says: (19 Points)

Oakland - Russell + 5

Tampa via 8-mile - Johnson + 4

Cleveland - Quinn +0

Deeeeeetroit - Adams +4

Cards - Thomas +1

Skins - Okoye +0

The Nordics - Peterson +5

Hotlanta - Landry +0

Laces out - Brown +0

Everything’s Bigger in Texas (Including the Sucking) - Revis +0

FlavaDave Says: Well, I made my own bed here. But I intentionally went against the grain after seeing your picks. This seems to have been a terrible strategy thus far.

Flinchbot Says: Where would you have deviated from my picks had you not gone for “gamesmanship” and instead went with best-guess?

I win! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

 

FlavaDave Says: Doesn’t matter.  I made my chocies, and I stand by them.  Next year, we should submit them blind.

 

Team Pam or Team Karen?

FlavaDave Says: Imagine that you are Jim Halpert. You are reasonably handsome and have a knack for pulling clever practical jokes and making unassuming reaction shots to nearby cameras. Two lovely women are vying for you affection:

PAM

 

Kinda mousy, but in a really cute way. Is always up for mischief. Desperately wants to be an artist but isn’t very good at it. Can plan a party at the drop of a hat.

In this corner:

KAREN

 

 

Karen is a more conventional beauty. She’s a hard worker who still has time for the occasional game of ‘Call of Duty 2′. She is as fun as Pam without the insecurities. Oh yeah, and she also has the good sense to actually admit having feeling for you, and is rewarded with the honor of being your girlfriend.

________________________

So, Jim Halpert, who do you choose? I’m going with Karen.

FlinchJim Says: You can keep that jealous woman, FlavaJim. So she lives a few blocks away and I’m a little uncomfortable with that. Is that really wrong? We aren’t engaged, we’re in the “having fun” dating stage and at this moment, I don’t really need her moving in with me.

Is she hot? Yes.

Is she Italian? Yes.

And is there anything better than a hot Italian? Making fun of Dwight. But right after that, hot Italian chicks. And I got me one.

But really, Pam’s the one for me. She’s just gets me. I don’t have to explain myself to her. It’s like she’s my fairer sex alter-self. It’s weird. I know.

Almost as weird as Dwight and Angela. Is there something going on there? Creeps me out just thinking about it.

Plus, what’s up with Kelly? Can we keep the sugar and caffeine away from her?

…

Sorry. I’m back. Pam. Yup. I was all set to make her mine but damn. I screwed that one up, huh?

FlavaJim Says: I can sum this up very succinctly: A woman in the hand is worth a secretary in the bush.

Pam knows how I feel.  I had the balls to show my cards on the eve of Pam’s wedding, possibly ruining her life and our friendship.  But I risked it all because I’m a man who knows what I want.

Karen is a woman who knows what she wants.  She is smart, beautiful, and………

(Okay, I’m going to stop speaking in the first person because it is creeping me out).

I would going with the woman who is actually ready to be in a relationship.  Maybe Jim loves Pam more, but he shouldn’t pursue it.  He made his move.

And until Pam is ready to make her move, a relationship with her would be pointless.

So Jim should be happy with Pam.  If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you are with.

Yo La Tengo Fan - Douchebag?

FlavaDave Says: At the Yo La Tengo show at the Vogue, a guy who looked just like character actor Kevin Sussman was not very happy with us.

By the way, it took me forever to Google him because I didn’t remember his name or any movies he had been in, so I’m very proud to present to you:

Kevin Sussman

 

Anyway, this guy was a few standing rows in front of us. For some reason, YLT decided it was a good idea to play one fucking note for four whole minutes. I love indie rock sometimes.

Naturally, you and I get bored and started to chat. We were talking about how the show was going so far and the fact that the Vogue at the moment literally smelled like shit (I think a sewer line broke).

Obviously, the music is kinda quiet and we are kinda loud. Kevin Sussman keeps looking half backwards and nodding in exasperated disapproval. He did this about eight times.

So, was he a douchebag? I say yes.

Flinchbot Says: You think someone is a douchebag? Really? Man that’s out of character. Look, this Kevin Sussman guy was obviously a music geek who buys into the whole Yo La Tengo thing. I bet he’s got an autographed copy of the Trouser Press Record Guide (first edition) autographed by Ira.

And here we were talking about whatever it was when dude was just trying to enjoy the show. I’d have been the same way when Justin Sullivan, one of my musical heroes, played a mostly acoustic set at Radio Radio. I didn’t pay my money to worship at Mr. Sullivan’s alter to hear some dickheads talk all night through the show. If you want to talk, go to the back of the bar or go outside and smoke. But I paid my money and the entertainment is on the stage, not standing behind me.

Sure, we were getting bored (and “Pass the Hatchet, I Think I’m Goodkind” was freaking absurdly long and horrible). Sure we were talking. But ultimately, we were out of line.

FlavaDave Says: Out of character? I may be a nice guy, but I’m still a snot-nosed 22 year old kid. It’s not me man, it’s the language of my generation.

Look, I know the horrors of the talker. I was at a Ben Folds show with a dude screaming about what autographed limited edition vinyl EPs he had in his Ben Folds collection. Dude, it’s Ben Folds. That doesn’t count as being cool.

To me, the level of acceptable talking is dependant on two factors: the room and the quality of the show.

If you are at the Murat, you paid 30+ bucks to see a national band that, chances are, you can’t see very often. That’s a quiet show. Well, usually it is loud as fuck anyway, so conversations are typically drowned out. But the Vogue is a club. It’s not a shut-the-hell-up kind of place. It’s a drink-beers-and-hang-with-friends kind of place. If Yo La Tengo didn’t want to have that kind of show, they should have booked the show elsewhere. Any venue that has $1 You-Call-Its Retro Rewind nights does not foster a quiet, respectful atmosphere.

My other point has been made for me by Steve in the comments below. The band earned the chatter by sucking.

Could we have been classier? Yes. But we are not the ones on trial here. Kevin Sussman is.

Why does Sussman suck?

a) He didn’t realize the context of the show (as explained brilliantly by myself already).

b) He never made eye contact with us.

c) He never said a word to us.

What kind of spineless ass-cat* uses non-confrontational passive aggression at a Yo La Tengo concert? What were we going to do, stab him with our glasses or choke him with a scarf? What’s wrong with simply turning around and saying “Hey guys, sorry to interrupt. I’m having trouble hearing. Would you mind keeping it down until a louder song comes on?”

But he didn’t. He vaguely twisted his head to the side, paused, and then shook his head like we were uncivilized cro-magnons who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as the Gods of Ambience onstage.

I agree with you, we could have been kinder to our fellow sulkers. Fine. But two sinners don’t make a saint. That guy (pardon my french) was a douche.

*Thanks to Rasheed Wallace for one of my favorite putdowns ever.

 

Flinchbot says: Dude, the scarf is the new black t-shirt for the hipster set. Next show we go to, I say we both wear a scarf. sure, it might be 85 degrees outside and we’re heading to Punk Rock Night at the Melody Inn, but dammit, we’re wearing scarves with our torn black t-shirts, shorts, and sandals. Hey Ladies!

BTW - When you type “Scarf Rock” into Google Images, the first hit is from Indianapolis’ own Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s. So that something.

So you admit that you were being a douche. Thank heavens I was talking less for a while which makes me less douchy than you (I know, I eventually jumped in a little later on and was probably responsible for at least one “Sussman Glance”). So I’m less of a douche than you and that’s all that really matters at this point.

The only real problem with the Sussman kid was his complete lack of balls. If we were so damn annoying, just man up and say “Hey - move to the back or go ouside, will ya”? But this dude was all weasely and ball-less. That’s not worhty of him being a douche. Throwing a beer at us would be douche-worthy. Whipping his dick out and telling us to lick his little acorns would be douche-worthy. Pulling his pants down and farting in our general direction would make him douche-worthy. Or French.

So in summation, the Sussman kid was not a douche, just a ball-less indie kid who seriously needs to spend the next 32 weekends attending Punk Rock Night. He’ll come out a whole new man. And that’s what we’re all about here - providing a guiding light to those lost in their own dark mental wastelands.